I feel like I’m losing myself.

The confusion has been dangling in my brain for a while.. and when something lingers in my mind for so long it starts to gnaw and chip away at my sense of self. Who am I?

Forgive my overdramatic, teenage (gosh it’s gonna be weird when I grow out of the teens) angst. But seriously, this identity crisis is frustrating. I don’t know what triggered this but I remember focusing on the evolution of my photography. I noticed that the style of my newer work deviated from my old stuff… and this hella bothered me. I grew to hate everything that I produced with my camera.

I’m still kind of stuck in the photo rut. But moving on, I started to realize that it wasn’t just my photography that was losing my personal style… it was also myself. I’ve sort of started to withdraw my real self from society and I don’t know why. I’ve become more self-conscious than I was before and I’m constantly watching the way I act in reality and online. I’ve become more private. 

Not that it’s particularly detrimental to keep to myself. But by withholding my thoughts and personal opinions, I’m essentially projecting a blank slide… People stopped seeing my real personality once I started getting so damn frigid (exaggerating). 

It’d driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do.

This is getting pretty long so I’m gonna end this awkwardly and abruptly. 

Err… peace nigz.